We often go about our busy lives and forget about the words and language we use yet, the words we use play a significant part in our well being and happiness. Do you ever stop to think about what that little voice in your head is saying? Do you ever stop and think about the language you’re using on a daily basis and how it could be affecting the way you feel about yourself and others? Not many people do, but the language we do use can affect us in so many ways.
I know from my own personal experience and that of my client’s, that many of us seem to have this this an ongoing dialogue playing out in our heads and because of this we over think things before they’ve even happened. Can you relate to this? We can sometimes play a story out before it’s even happened and we just guess how it’s going to end and that in itself can affect us and the way we feel about certain situations. I call this, ‘Mind Chatter!’
Mind chatter is that voice in your head, it’s in your subconscious mind and it can cause you to react and act in certain ways without you even being aware of it. Mind chatter is made up of several different voices, opinions, judgements and perceptions and can include not only your thoughts but, others thoughts too. Our minds are so complex as we absorb all different kinds of information and can take on board other’s view so that further down the line we end up believing that what was their opinion is actually ours and this isn’t always true.
Have you ever noticed that you suffer from mind chatter? Or is it so normal to you that you don’t even notice it anymore? I’ve suffered with mind chatter for years and I only became aware of it because I started researching when working towards my Coaching qualification. I realised that many of the beliefs and values I had weren’t actually mine and I’d just been borrowing them all this time from other people; my parents, my friends, my teacher, my boss and the list goes on. I thought I had an opinion about something but, then realised over time that it wasn’t actually my opinion and when I thought about it long and hard I realised I didn’t agree with it at all, in fact I thought the opposite.
All of the layers of information we receive over time can distort or change our opinion of things and I’d come to realise that that was exactly what had happened to me. I’ve always been encouraged to stay in the same job, earn a decent salary and not dare to dream that I could have my own business and for years I believed that this was the case. I felt grateful for a good job and turned down other opportunities because I was too scared to leave or change my perception. I kept using negative words and phrases about myself and my mind chatter just kept playing it over and over again in my mind.
Through coaching and development these feelings, thoughts and perceptions I had about myself have now changed as I’ve explored them and now let go of the beliefs that aren’t mine anymore and only stick with the ones I truly believe in. Nowadays, I am lucky enough to feel confident in the decisions I make and more importantly in the way I feel about myself too. I now know that coaching and training is my ‘life’s work’ and that’s what I want to do for the rest of my life and having identified my passion has just been the icing on the cake.
Do you ever wonder what your ‘life’s work’ is? Do you ever stop and think, if I wasn’t doing this job what else would I do? Some of us live mediocre lives, we settle for average and because this we don’t strive to achieve more (or less) to be truly happy. This was something I challenged myself in a few years ago and I started to make my own dreams come true with the launch of Aspirational Living and I’m part way through this journey and loving every minute of it!
I recognised that the words I was using and the thoughts I had about myself was holding me back in so many ways. Are the words and language you use holding you back? Are they stopping you from living the life you want? They can be very limiting if you let them but, the first step is self awareness and that’s exactly where I started my journey.
I use to have plenty of limiting beliefs about myself and a result of this I believed I couldn’t change my life, I couldn’t pursue another path and I was truly stuck. I used to have that voice in my head that would tell me I wasn’t good enough or I couldn’t achieve that but, over time I start to overcome this. In time, I started to be selective about the thoughts I had and when I changed the language and words I used about myself my perception of me started to change and I was finally able to start believing in myself and my capabilities. This meant that instead of saying, ‘I can’t do that, I haven’t got the confidence to do that’ I changed it to, ‘I can do that and if I need to learn new skills or develop myself further I will, but, I will do it!’
This was so enlightening, it was almost like an awakening and coupled with this, I stopped worrying about what people thought of me and as a result of that I felt liberated. I knew that the path I had chosen was right for me and I didn’t have all the answers and that was fine it was just about creating and being the best version of myself and I was enjoying that. You see, I now choose my words wisely and when I experience mind chatter I calmly, ‘Shut it up!’ and go back to living life the conscious way!