In Part 1 of ‘How to Strengthen Your Personal Resilience’, we looked at how change affects us. We explored what happens with our thoughts, feelings, emotions and behaviours and we started to understand the link between resilience and change.
As humans we are hard wired to have a negativity bias and we can often look for what can go wrong instead of what can go right. Sound familiar?
Once we realise that you’re not the only one who does this and you stop beating yourself up, then you will be able to move forward and start looking for what can go right.
Raising awareness of our thoughts is one of the first positive steps you can take which we covered in Part 1. Focussing on our positive thoughts instead of the negative ones helps to empower us to find solutions, to change our perspective and to start taking control of our thoughts. Remember thoughts drive emotion and emotion drives behaviour.
Okay, so what next I hear you say?! Well, I’d like to share a theory with you which was developed by Psychologist and Author, Stephen Covey.
He wrote many management and personal development books and he developed the following concept.
He suggests that we all have issues and concerns in life and that we all find it difficult at times to find solutions. However, he links this theory to developing resilience and he suggests that those who have low levels of resilience are the ones who have concerns/issues, and the approach they take is to dwell on their situation. They are the ones who have the pity party and who continuously act like the victim. I’m sure we can all recognise people we know in this category, perhaps even ourselves at times. He explains that, by taking this approach we give away the power that we hold within away and that makes us feel helpless, out of control and/or at a loss. These emotions only fuel the victim-like state and doesn’t move us forward or help us find a solution. These people live in this state of helplessness day in and day out, and in time their overall happiness is affected.
However, those who have strengthened their resilience have adopted helpful habits and they apply this approach in everything they do. They too have issues and concerns, despite what others may think however, they categorise their problems and concerns into two areas;
Area 1 ~ The circle of concern. These are the things they can do nothing about about however, they acknowledge they exist.
Area 2 ~ The circle of influence. These are the things that are within the circle of concern that can be moved onto this area because they can influence these concerns by taking some kind of action. No matter how big or small the action.
By taking this approach the people who have high levels of resilience feel empowered, more in control and feel positive about taking action in some way. This reduces stress, anxiety and improves health and well being, so let’s put it to the test.
I’d like you to start thinking about the following;
1. Identify all of the things, events, relationships and areas of your life that are causing you concern and put all of these things in the ‘Circle of Concern’. These are the things that may be causing you stress, worry and/or sleepless nights.
2. Next, identify the things that are within your control and move some of these actions into the ‘Circle of influence’.
Then I invite you to let go of the ‘stuff/concerns’ you can’t control and focus on the things you can.
I wish you luck on your journey of strengthening your own resilience. Keep going, keep learning these new skills and sign up to our newsletter as next month we’ll he sharing a Psychometric Personality tool and you won’t want to miss it!