We live in a world of digital technology and live in an age whereby we’re attached to our mobile phones for hours on end; checking emails, texts and social media for updates to make sure we’re not missing out on any vital information. We spend hours scrolling down our fb walls and reading about how amazing some people’s lives are and looking through all of their posted pics which further proves how amazing that person’s life is right?! It’s during these times when we get sucked into believing that ‘What you see is what you get!’

We truly believe all of the posts they shout and brag about, there’s the expensive purchases they’ve made, the fancy hotels and holidays they’ve been on, the high flying careers they have and the many celebratory successes they’re shouting about too!  You then start thinking, ‘Why is my life not like that?!’

This can then lead to a downward spiral of thoughts about, ‘Why your life isn’t good enough? Why you don’t have the fancy career or expensive holidays abroad?’

It’s so easy to fall into that comparison trap and if you let it, it could have a negative effect on the way you live your life if you don’t let your common sense prevail when you’re reading all this stuff! You think that everybody’s life looks so amazing and in comparison yours looks boring! You don’t have as many on line or linked in friends as them and you certainly don’t have family pics that look like they’ve just come off the front cover of a glossy magazine.

But, what you have to keep asking yourself is, ‘How many of these on line friends are their true friends? And how much of it is a case of ‘Keeping up with The Jones’s?’ My guess would be a lot of it. Don’t get me wrong I like to share my family pics, places we’ve visited and other exciting events that have happened in my life too but, I know I have a balance and a healthy mind set to it.

I know that some of the people I’ve had friend requests from wouldn’t actually even say hi to me in the street or want to just be friends to have a nosey at what’s going on in my life and I’m fine with that. I don’t let my happiness be determined by others – anymore!

I used to, not in the social media sense but, I was always a people pleaser and one that went out of their way for others but, it wasn’t always reciprocated and this used to leave me feeling sad, low and I’d always self-reflect and blame myself as to why others didn’t return my call or text. But, after a long journey and many hours of self-reflection I truly feel content with my life, I’ve set goals and a vision for the future and I’m living life more consciously.

I’ve always been outwardly confident but, now I’m truly confident inside and out and don’t worry (at all) about what others think of me and finally, I have a much more well balanced view of life and all that goes with it and that includes the reality behind the social media platform.

Here are my 5 top tips to consider when reviewing your social media platforms;

  1. Always look at social media with ‘Open’ eyes!

When browsing your social media wall always have a sense of reality when viewing those perfect pics and well written status updates – remember people only post what they want the world to see.

No one ever posts pics of them in their darkest hours when they’re crying about the relationships they’ve lost or the job they didn’t get or the relationship or family problems they might have. No one brags about the 02 Fiat Punto that’s sat on their drive (that’s ours by the way) or the hard sacrifices they’re making to be able to save for that family holiday they want to go on next year or the house they’re saving for!

People only ever show you the highlights of ‘their life,’ how many times have you taken a photo ready to upload onto Fb and then retake the photo again because the first one wasn’t good enough? Me too – it’s now a reality that we want to show our best foot forward and that’s okay as long as you remember that everybody else is doing the same.

2. Remember your friends list or the number of linkedin connections you have does not determine your popularity or happiness.

How many people do you hear brag about how many people they’re connected with but, what you always need to remember is, ‘how many of these connections are actually their real friends?’   

How many of them are there for them when they truly need them? How many of them actually care about the posts or pics you’ve uploaded? The answer is probably a handful of them.

Having lots of connections and friends is great if you have a sense of reality when viewing social media. I have approximately 500 friends on Fb which sounds huge but, I know that some of my best friends are on here, some of my work colleagues, ex school friends and others who I know merely as an acquaintance and I’m fine with that. I don’t turn to my social media friends to help uplift my mood and I’ve stopped comparing myself to others

3. Use social media to inspire you!

Social media is also a great thing and it doesn’t have many connotations but, it can be used for good!

Social media has inspired me in so many ways; I follow other coaches, other professionals, friends and celebrities who always have a similar view in life to me. I spend time looking at their pics, browsing their walls or the articles to see what their views and opinions are on a variety of topics too.

I like to look at what they’re doing and the journey they took to get where they are right now. I then compare to my life in a good way and it truly motivates and inspires me to get what I want in life.

I learn a lot from them, social media allows me to watch videos about them, the journey they took and pics, posts and articles they’ve written about! I always view their profiles with ‘open eyes’ and never compare myself in a bad way to them as the successful coaches I read about are just further along their journey than I am.

4. Use social media to grow your business.

Social media is an excellent way to help you grow your business and the number of connections and friends you have can determine the potential number of clients you have that will ‘buy into’ your business or product and that can be a good thing.

Coaches use social media a lot to help them grow their business; they post their videos on Fb and other social media sites and they grow their audience in doing so. This then helps them grow their reach and enables them to continue to grow their business.

Social media can be used in a good way and it’s a huge step forward for mankind as we can share our most treasured memories with our friends and family who live far and wide.  Social media makes the world feel a much smaller place and it’s a great way of doing business and I intend to use it for my own business too.

5. Don’t let social media determine ‘your happiness.’

By all means access and use social media but, as I’ve said before, don’t let it determine your happiness.  If your friend is back packing around the world and visiting the remotest of places then that’s great for them as it’s their dream, but is it yours? If not, then stop fretting over it.

If your friend looks like they’re out every Friday, Saturday, Sunday and once mid-week drinking, partying and dancing on the bar then that’s great for them because that’s how they choose to live their life but, it might not be your dream.

Always remember what’s right for one person, might not always be right for another! Be authentic, be true yourself, your beliefs and values and take in all of this information but, don’t let it mould you into something your not – unless it’s inspiring you in a good way!

“Be truly happy and the only way to do this is by being authentic! “

Kelly Gaston


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