Beep, beep, beep! That was the annoying sound of the alarm clock, it would beep like this every morning and I’d snooze it for 5 minutes and then finally find enough energy to drag myself out of bed. Every day used to begin like this and I’d get up, get ready, get the boys sorted and then we’d all head out for our busy days which was filled with work, hosuehold jobs, shopping, kids activities and clubs and then by the time I actually got some time for myself I couldn’t be bothered to do anything for me so I’d just flop into bed ready for the next day and I’d be out for the count!
I felt ‘overwhelmed and overworked’ and I didn’t know how to get off this ‘hamster wheel,’ I fed up, sick and tired of feeling like this but, I didn’t have the energy or the inclination to make any changes so I did what I knew best and I just kept going and going and going. Then one day I just couldn’t do it anymore and I eventually I burned out with exhaustion and fatigue and it was then I knew then I had to make a change, I didn’t want to keep going on like this so I started thinking about how I could get off this hamster wheel and start taking action.
It’s strange though as it was only at that point when I ‘crashed and burned’ that I knew I had to make a change because I was really worried about the affect it was having on my health and if my symptoms had got worse I just couldn’t have coped with that. So I started taking action, I started giving myself a little ‘me time’ and a bit of time to reflect on what it was I wanted in life and I had some personal coaching sessions, CBT and I took time out to meditate, it felt weird at first, like some hippy thing but, over time I improved and I felt so much better as a result of these changes. As many of you know I then trained as a coach, started making improvements in my life and have reaped the benefits since!
Since then I’ve seen and worked with so many others who’ve kept going (and going and going) and they continue to put themselves under pressure to keep up this face pace. They have a list of endless duties that need to be completed including housework, uniforms for kids to get ready, all their school kit and then there’s the food shopping, the bills to sort, the kids clubs and activities to sort and pay for and then after that it’s the full or part time job that they’ve got to hold down and then what’s left is an empty shell in many cases. I’ve seen so many others who’ve kept going to just maintain this pace but, why? Why do we feel that we have to live life like this at such a fast pace – it’s just not sustainable and I know that first hand, if we keep going and going we’ll burn out and I see so many others heading for this and many of them aren’t even aware of it! They just think that living life at a million miles an hour is normal and is expected but, I’m here to tell you it’s not!
Feeling overwhelmed is a terrible emotional state to be in and it can cause anxiety, heart ache and other physical and emotonal symptoms too, it can cause feelings of resentment, frustration, fatigue and so much more. Of the clients I’ve worked with, these feelings of overwhelm have been as a result of the pressure and high standards they impose on themselves but, because it’s been learned behaviour and adoped over time, it’s become part of their make up and new, bad habits have been formed. These habits can really hinder you from living your life fully and over time it can make people very unhappy and dissatisfied with the life they lead. It can affect the way you think and feel about yourself and change your perspective and outlook on life and as a result of this, it can affect not only affect you but, those around you too.
Overwhelm can be caused by many things including; high expectations and standards and these can often stem from childhood or as a result of something that has happened in your life. It can also be caused by taking on too much and many of us are guilty of this.
During the coaching sessions with my clients we explore this and look at why and where we’ve learnt this behaviour from and we analyse how we’ve incorporated it into our lives and the affects it’s having on us. It’s such an interesting concept and it’s not often talked about but, so many people experience it and I feel that there’s not enough support out there to help others tackle this so I’m going to give you a few hints & tips to help overcome the feelings of overwhelm, which lead to overworked!
My 3 top tips are;
1) Tackle the above areas and reflect on yourself honestly, do you take on too much? Do you have high expectations of yourself? If you do start asking yourself why?!
2) Start looking at what the above habits and behaviours are costing you on a daily basis. Are your relationships affected by the way you behave? If so, in what way?
3) Look at ways you could overcome these habits, what new learned habits would you like to adopt? What would the best version of yourself be and how can you become this?
If you look at the above and really dig deep, you’ll be able to start understanding yourself more and understanding why you behave the way you do. Once you acceptance this, you’ll start taking ownership of this and only then will you be able to start making positive changes in your life.
Take control, design your life and invest in you!
Start living life the conscious way!