We’ve had such a lovely weekend and we’ve spent it with such lovely people. It’s weekends like this when you remember how important it is to get together with our friends and surround yourself with really positive people.

Today we had some friends over for cake and tea and it was lovely, we just chatted about kids, work and life in general and all of us were wanting to head in a new direction with courses and qualifications we’d like to work towards.  We chatted about everyday things but, we started talking about what goals we had in life and what it is we’d like for our families.  It made me start thinking that our generation is not a passive generation and we do go out there and get what we want and we’re willing to work hard in order to achieve our goals and dreams.

Over the years I’ve gravitated towards easy going, like minded people who are in a similar situation to you, like us they have young family and when they came over today to was great to see all the boys playing together, as they’ve got two boys too so they enjoyed playing together too.

Last night Richard and I were also out for food and drinks with some of our friends too and had such a lovely evening. We drank cocktails, ate good food and made holiday plans for where we’d all like to go together in future years.  These friends of ours always have a plan of action and they live life the conscious way, they’re always looking ahead and evaluating life every step of the way, very much like us too.  

What I really love about them is that even though they live a fabulous lifestyle, they’re so generous, funny and kind and that’s why we have them in our lives.  As I get older I realise I want to spend time with people who make you feel good about yourself and believe in your dreams, goals and ambitions and these friends do.

They never judge, criticise or laugh at any of my ideas and it feels so good to share everything with close friends especially those that support you no matter what.  I’ve got so many different varieties of friends and I got to know them in many different ways; from school, college, work, through other friends and in a range of other ways. I quite like having lots of different friends though as they all add something different to my life.   Some friends I just meet for lunch, others I go away on holiday with or for weekend breaks and others I don’t see for many years but, still class them all as my friends and when we get together it’s as if there’s been no time between our last meeting.

Friends are so important to me and it’s true what they say, ‘they’re the family you choose for yourself.’  Over the years though I’ve had some friendships where it’s been one sided or they haven’t stood the test of time and I think this is inevitable, life changes people in different ways and sometimes it’s best to move forward in different directions.

Who do you surround yourself with? Positive people or those who put you and your ideas down?  As a coach, manager and trainer I’ve worked with many people who surround themselves in negativity and this comes from the people they associate and spend time with, this could be friends, family, colleagues or even spouse (this one’s a little harder to deal with).

Tim Ferris, author of 4 hour Working Week quotes,

‘You are the average of the five people you associate with most, so do not underestimate the effects of your pessimistic, unambitious, or disorganised friends.  If someone isn’t making you stronger, they’re making you weaker.’

It’s an interesting concept isn’t it?! As personal performance life coach this is one of the things I look at with my clients.  We explore together the mindset they have and the friendship circles they associate themselves with as this can have a huge impact on your confidence levels and your self belief.  So next time you share your dream, goal or passion with someone and they’re negative about it just bare that in mind and then take note when you share your vision with a positive friend and the difference it makes to your confidence.